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  2. May 17th, 2013 2:45am

    My heart is so small. Why is it so hard for me to be loving?

     


  3. yesdarlingido:

    Pull this out of context and you will fail to see that Paul is encouraging the church to persevere in their sanctification regardless of the inevitable suffering it introduces. He is claiming God’s promise over us and reminding us that we are enabled when we live for Christ’s glory. In the face of difficulty, this is hope for those who chase after holiness as the work of salvation is taking effect. It was never about football. It was never about small efforts of ambition or success. It is a verse that provides peace and strength for the church in their fight against the enemy. This verse is a reminder to not lose heart because we are guaranteed to prevail if we are in alliance with God. This is a deep breath of peace for those who are weary; it is a sweet grace for those who taste the enemy’s threat of defeat. It is not a catch phrase for petty tasks that help you get ahead in the world. But pull it out of context and you will miss the powerful peace for which it was intended.

    (via jennpurple)

     

  4. This is water.

     

  5. Today, I attempted to peel an apple for breakfast. After I was done, I realized almost 20% of the apple had been carved away, and the once large apple was now a medium one. There are a lot of things I could say here: I didn’t have a nicely sized fruit knife, it was early in the morning, I was in a hurry to get to class… But the truth is that I’m just not good at skinning an apple.

    I remember when I was little, I would watch my dad peel an apple with one cut, creating a continuous spiral with the apple peel. Proud, he would hand it to me to play with as he cut the apple into slices for me to eat. I’d try to make odd shapes and designs with the peel while keeping it intact as I waited to eat the apple.

    Today, I chose to peel and slice my apple rather than just eat it whole as I normally do, and as I failed to carve my apple properly, I realized that I’m scared. I’m scared to graduate college and become an adult, because there are so many things I don’t know how to do, and so many things I don’t know about. I’m scared, because I grew up assuming that once I got there, I would be ready. Now I’m here, and I’m not.

    I loved reading Calvin and Hobbes growing up, and this strip is part of a series that dealt with their home being broken into while gone on a camping trip. Calvin’s dad recognizes that part of growing up is owning up to your experiences and learning through the process. I think this scared me - because it shattered the illusion that my parents knew everything, no matter what the scenario..

    There are a lot things coming my way in the next few years, and I’m not sure what they will bring. But hopefully I’ll tackle them better than the stupid apple.

    “Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the LORD GOD is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation.” -Isaiah 12:2

     


  6. There’s no other way to prove that I do love you, babyyy

     

  7. “See, the sad thing about a guy like you is that in 50 years you’re gonna start doing some thinking on your own and you’re gonna come up with the fact that there are two certainties in life: one, don’t do that; and two, you dropped 150 grand on an education that you could’ve got for $1.50 and late charges at the public library..”

    This is one of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite movies

     


  8. Places you should not go to alone

    1. Disneyland, Downtown Disney, or anything Disney. Everywhere you go, you will be sandwiched between couples in love. This, unless you are a robot, is not fun.
    2. Movie theater. If you want to watch a movie by yourself, watch it at home in your room. Don’t come here to feel even more lonely as you will also be sandwiched between couples in love and/or annoying teenagers who think their conversations are muted for all other attendees in the audience.
    3. Weddings. This is the main event for a couple in love. You better come as one of the groomsmen, with a thick crew of homies, or with a plus one of your own. Or people will just annoy you with questions on when your turn will be, and why you haven’t brought anyone with you! Just kidding, I lied. Even if you come with a plus one people will annoy you with questions on when your turn will be. Just don’t go to any weddings unless you have one of your own. (Just kidding. Maybe.)
    4. Grad Nite. No one celebrates their own graduation by themselves. Even if this is possibly your last “grad nite” ever. Even if they’re giving away freebies at the event. Even if there is free food. Even if they gave away discounted grad packages. Dammit. Why didn’t anyone want to go with me today? Eff.
    5. Paper Source (as I learned today), is not a place for a guy to go alone. This is like the closest an artistic, creative girl who makes nice crafty things as a hobby can get to heaven while still on earth. Plus, I don’t think they have male friendly air in their vents, because I think I held my breath the entire 2 minutes I was there to pick out my thank you cards and pay. Next time I’ll pay someone to go get it for me to save myself the trouble.

     


  9. Sandy Eggo

    1. In my last year of junior high, a short time after I was saved, I attended my first Christian conference with my church youth group at the San Diego Convention Center called “Set Apart.” Delirious? led worship that weekend, and I still have the Deeper album sitting on my desk. I still remember the last night of worship, when they opened up with thick British accents saying, “We lahv you, Sandy Eggo!”
    2. In my senior year of high school, I didn’t get into UCLA. I did, however, get in early to Emory University in Atlanta, Georgia. I went to visit during my spring break with my dad, and we ate some bomb soul food (even fried sushi rolls), but ultimately I came back scared to go so far away from my family and friends. I committed to UCSD, though I didn’t like it.
    3. In my senior year of college, I went through a mini-crisis trying to discover what it meant to know what God’s good, and pleasing, will is, and what it meant to live according to it. And through that process, I came to realize that it wasn’t a matter of finding what God’s will for me in a specific career path was, but more of finding out what God’s will and desire for the world was, and then finding my place in His plan to love and save the world. I began to look for opportunities to stretch myself and to go see things that would make me uncomfortable, things that would break His heart, and prayed that He would allow my heart to be broken over the things that break His. Last week, I was accepted as a Teach for America Corps member, and though I applied late (and was told repeatedly that the probability of placement in California was close to zero), I’ve been assigned to teach in San Diego for the next two years.

    Almost every big milestone in my life thus far has been tethered to San Diego. Over the years, I’ve fallen in and out of love with San Diego—but as I prayed for Him to align my heart with His, I find myself bound even more tightly to San Diego… what does this mean?

    Lord, help me to love this city and its people!!

     

  10. I wrote a post couple months ago about my decision to apply for Teach for America here. Today, it all came together in an email telling me I am now a 2013 Teach For America Corps Member!  

    There are so many thank you’s to be said here, for all the people that were so crucial in my walk/run/stumble to get to the point where I am now, for all those people who lifted me up when I fell down, for all of those that believed in me, trusted me, and loved me despite my many shortcomings. My family, for showing me unending love and grace though they have seen me at my worst. My friends, who have strived to see the best in me, and helped me to see the best in myself. And most importantly, my Savior who gave me beauty for ashes, joy for my mourning, and praise for heaviness…

    He’s been so good, so so good to me.

     


  11. When someone changes the topic in conversation but I had something really good to say

     


  12. For most of my life I have struggled to find God, to know God, to love God. I have tried hard to follow the guidelines of the spiritual life—pray always, work for others, read the Scriptures—and to avoid the many temptations to dissipate myself. I have failed many times but always tried again, even when I was close to despair.



    Now I wonder whether I have sufficiently realized that during all this time God has been trying to find me, to know me, and to love me. The question is not “How am I to find God?” but “How am I to let myself be found by him?” The question is not “How am I to know God?” but “How am I to let myself be known by God?” And, finally, the question is not “How am I to love God?” but “How am I to let myself be loved by God?” God is looking into the distance for me, trying to find me, and longing to bring me home…

    God is the shepherd who goes looking for his lost sheep. God is the woman who lights a lamp, sweeps out the house, and searches everywhere for her lost coin until she has found it. God is the father who watches and waits for his children, runs out to meet them, embraces them, pleads with them, begs and urges them to come home.

    It might sound strange, but God wants to find me as much as, if not more than, I want to find God.

     


  13. Safe

    To the one whose dreams have fallen all apart
    All you’re left with is a tired and broken heart
    I can tell by your eyes you think you’re on your own
    But you’re not alone

    Have you heard of the one who can calm the raging seas?
    Give sight to the blind, pull the lame up to their feet
    With a love so strong, He’ll never let you go
    No, you’re not alone

    You will be safe in His arms
    You will be safe in His arms
    The hands that hold the world are holding you now
    This is the promise He made
    He will be with you always
    When everything is falling apart, you will be safe in His arms

    Did you know that the voice that brings the dead to life
    Is the very same voice that calls you now to rise
    So hear him now, He’s calling you home
    You will never be alone

    These are the hands that built the mountain
    Hands that calmed the sea
    These are the arms that hold the heavens
    They are holding you and me
    These are the hands that healed the leper
    Pulled the lame up to their feet
    These are the arms that were nailed to a cross
    To break our chains and set us free

     


  14. Full measure of devotion

    Sometimes, my mind wanders and I think about what people will say about me after I die. Not that I live for what other people say about me, but I would like to know what people will say about what I lived for. When I die, will my eulogy speak of my life truthfully? Will I have lived truthfully enough, intentionally enough, that people were aware of my convictions, my beliefs, my vision, my goals?

    My favorite president is Abraham Lincoln. My favorite line, from my favorite speech, is the closing remark from the Gettysburg Address. Lincoln ends with, “It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain, that this nation under God shall have a new birth of freedom, and that government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth.”

    One day I hope I will be remembered as a man who gave the last full measure of devotion to my life’s cause. That I gave my last full measure of devotion to the One who I was devoted to, served and loved Him with all my heart, mind, and soul. And that it is not left to question whether I could have done any more to devote myself to that cause for which I gave the last full measure of my devotion…

     


  15. Zero sense

    Every day since they’ve been married, my mom has helped my dad get dressed. My dad has zero fashion sense. He has no idea what goes well with what, but more importantly, he doesn’t really care.

    All that really matters is this: Am I comfortable? If the answer to that question is yes, it really doesn’t matter what he’s wearing (or not wearing). This is why my dad is totally content with wearing cheesy, fobby, and neon shirts he gets as gifts from his Sunday school students, and why he still wears his Awana Commander t-shirt in Sunday service at church. And when we’re at home, a t-shirt and boxers is the absolute maximum. If he had it his way, he would wear a white undershirt and sweats everywhere else in public. 

    This past Saturday, my mom took me shopping. We were picking out a few clothes for my birthday present, and my mom decided to give me some life advice. “You need to find a wife like me.” What do you mean? “You have absolutely no fashion sense. You’re just like your dad. You know he wakes me up every morning to ask what he should wear?” I honestly have no idea what goes well together. I tried putting together an outfit at J. Crew, and my mom cracked up because I had mixed clashing colors and designs (which looked totally cool and hipster, jussayin’). So she told me I just needed to find a girl with a killer fashion sense that loved me enough to help me pick out what to wear everyday. I could deal with that. But for now, I’ll stick with my Kirkland t-shirts and soccer pants.